blog @ pebbl

You'd..

Just thought I'd write a short post about the pointlessness of trying to get a refund from the differing UK train operators; for one to blow off steam, and for two to laugh at the whole ridiculousness of the situation.

Like..

I have tried a grand total of three times — across the entirety of all my thirty one years — to get my money back from these purveyors of uncomfortable journeys. Time that would have been better spent, it would seem, learning to yodel. I would have ended up with the same result, no money back, but at least I could communicate the reasons why I might be running late across vast distances.

A..

It seems that for most companies, where there is an actual public facing staff — that are not locked away behind glass — and a realistic threat of competition; you can get a refund if the service you paid for was not provided, or was just less than satisfactory. I have experienced this across a wide range of businesses, almost instantaneously upon asking, from supermarkets, to cinemas; clothing retailers to gadget emporiums... and even decent train companies like Eurostar.

Unfortunately, all that many of our prized transport hubs can generally offer is a worried, ill-prepared individual encased in perspex — or hiding in a cupboard — who can rarely give any help beyond pre-scripted issues. It can be even less fortunate for yourself if you happen to trigger one of these pre-scripted responses, because it will usually involve being handed a thin leaflet of some kind. This is exactly what happens when you mention in passing that the specific train you've opted for has unexpected evaporated, and that due to communication being so bad — what with all this new fangled technology lying about the place — you haven't been able to find out when and from which direction the next chariot of standing-room-only will be coming from... All of which has led you to the curious but surely understandable feeling of wanting your money back.

..What?

All I can say is, DO NOT FILL OUT THAT FORM! You will be wasting your precious life, and unless we are talking hundreds of pounds, where the hope alone of getting it back might be worth it, you will really just be exercising one arm of a business that makes it their business to hold on to as much money as they possibly can. You know, for share-holders and the like...

Instead — if you can — go back to the leaflet wielding helper and ask for your ticket to be shifted to another day, that is if you can face the possibility of the same thing happening all over again.

If you decide not to heed my warning though, and it isn't a snow day, I shall tell you what will happen next. After an indeterminate amount of spacetime you will get some, little or no correspondence kindly informing you that your request has been denied, rejected, forgotten about, then — and only then — buried in soft peat BY the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal... Feeding the beast alone has cost more than the £24 you wanted back, so you now in fact owe them money.

... either that or they'll just tell you your journey wasn't delayed for more than 30 minutes, when quite obviously they were there and you weren't.

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With special thanks to Southern Trains, South West Trains and Clapham Junction.